Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Mistakes Trash for Treasure

A legend faces his destiny, and falls flat on his face.

To get it out of the way, the only format of physical or digital media I don’t own the Indiana Jones films on is laser disc. To say I’m a mega fan would be the tip of the archeological iceberg. I did my best while watching this to cast away bias and look at the film as a character’s final journey. New to the franchise, Director, writer, James Mangold is familiar with making good movies, with heart, and morals, that leave you at the very least entertained. After two hours and thirty-four minutes, I can safely say that Dial of Destiny is under the most basic definition, a movie.

By name alone, is this a continuation of the Indiana Jones saga. Without Steven Spielberg’s touch, the story feels directionless, the action is dull, and neither John Williams’ score nor Harrison Ford’s smile can save this one. The film centers around the end of Dr. Jones’ career as a professor, in 1969, which sees him joined by his goddaughter Helena Shaw, on a quest to find the arthe- athremica— two parts of Archimedes’ Dial.

In the past films, there was a clear reason why Indiana Jones needed to get involved in obtaining each treasure. This time around the screenwriters realized there wasn’t one. They create this elaborate plot about the CIA thinking Jones killed some of his fellow colleagues and is part of an illegal artifact-selling ring? Because of this, he is part of the plot, that’s the best they could come up with, it was uninteresting and is never resolved. 

In order to give Jones something that resembles a character arc, he and Marion are divorced now, and Mutt died in Vietnam. Just like that, the entirety of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is written to hold no value, which is a grave mistake. This does nothing to help evolve Jones as a character, other than to tear him down, and straight up dehumanize him. There are moments, like seeing an old friend, where the character appears on screen, yet a quip here, and punch there, aren’t enough to convince me this story has anything to do with the character. In other words, Jones doesn’t feel like Jones. 

At times it seems like the movie is trying to say, that young people are dumb and that Indiana Jones is a cool guy so do what he says. It’s strange because there are multiple times where Helana and her straw-hat-boy (no, I’m not going to provide context) talk about how old people are dumb and tiring to be around. From the movie I saw, it seems they open with a nearly twenty-minute sequence of Indy behind enemy lines at the end of World War II, as smoke and mirrors for the rest of the story where he’s clearly and intently written out of character. 

It also doesn’t help that Ford gives a so-so performance leading this time around. It feels like everyone on set just said, “You know, just act like Indiana Jones.” That is not enough direction. The alternative is that Ford realized he didn’t care, which given what he has to work with is completely understandable. Or maybe I should say, who he has to work with, as co-lead Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Helena, is up there with Rey and She-Hulk, unfortunately. 

With the jumbled script, it’s clear behind the scenes there was a battle of the sexes. So badly did an unnamed producer who is head of Lucasfilms, want this to be a jumping-off point for Helena to continue to the franchise. She is practically the main character in the 3rd act while Indy is put on the bench. Yet, Indy does have some moments where he one-ups the villains and even Helena with his knowledge of history or his ability to still punch people without breaking his hand at nearly eighty. 

The biggest shame with Helena’s character is that there is a potential for a great character arc. She loves history, but she hates her dad, who was an archeologist, so she steals artifacts and sells them instead of preserving them. Indy clearly sees right through her scams and calls her out for it, yet it doesn’t really lead to anything interesting. What could have been a father-daughter relationship between her and Indy, where Indy teaches her the value of history and the importance of reconciling our family pasts, turns into her using and belittling Indy and punching him in the face at the end.

The decision to try and introduce a whole bunch of new characters was a tremendous error and was more than likely one of the main factors that kept audiences away, leading to Dial of Destiny becoming a historic box office bomb. To add some new characters is fine, yet to center important aspects of the film around them is foolish. It definitely should have been a “let’s get the band back together,” type of film, especially when you bring back nazis as the villains. 

Bringing back the nazis doesn’t quite give the feeling Disney was hoping for, I would imagine. Near the end when Voller puts on his nazi uniform, they wanted it to be the same as Kylo Ren looking like Darth Vader, but it feels more like people playing dress up. You’re never quite sold on the villains as being anything more than lucky, as they just appear when and wherever the plot needs them too. This is a shame as Mads Mikkelsen plays Voller, who is a great actor but is terribly utilized.  

One of the few honest moments of the film comes when Indy meets up with old-time friend Sallah. Sallah takes Indy to the airport and offers to help him track down Helena, he tells Indy “I miss the desert, I miss the sea, I miss waking up in the morning wondering what wonderful adventure the new day will bring to us.” Indy responds with, “This is not an adventure. Those days have come and gone” That right there, that is practically this whole film. Don’t worry Sallah, we all feel that way. 

This isn’t an Indiana Jones movie, it’s not a Helena Shaw origin story, it is nothing more than scenes taped together in an editing room for what will feel like the longest two and a half hours of your life. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is corporatized fan fiction, at best, and proves that some relics should stay buried.