Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is a Failure on Every Level

I think I would have rather watched a 2 hour documentary on the creation of actual chainsaws. 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released in 2022 and was directed by David Blue Garcia. The film stars Sarah Yarkin as Melody and Elsie Fisher as Lila. Set almost 50 years after the original film, this direct sequel follows a group of teenagers who are trying to bring new life to the town of Harlow, Texas, but in the process find the town’s dark history. 

The acting, if you can even call it that, is abysmal. Yarkin’s performance genuinely might be one of the worst I’ve ever seen on screen. Every time she spoke I had to pause the movie and rethink what I was doing with my life. It doesn’t help that her character arc is supposed to be that of realistic redemption, but literally uses a CHAINSAW to uppercut Leatherface. Nearly every decision she makes you root against her, and because she’s a main character, our entire group of heroes. 

Through the character of Lila, the film tries to push an anti-gun message, and they genuinely do this by having her use a gun at the end of the movie….? This is a great example of how underdeveloped every idea in the film is, and due to this fact, you can’t become invested in these themes. 

The story is incredibly dull and consistently has characters making bad choices so that it can get to the next action scene. There is a subplot where they bring a character back from past movie’s and wow, is it poorly executed. I mean like, imagine if out of nowhere the new Jurassic World sequel just brought back the original 3 cast members, oh, wait. 

They also have one line of dialogue to explain how no one has caught Leatherface, and I started laughing when I heard it because I thought it was a joke, and then it wasn’t and I was very sad. 

None of the “horror” is well done. After a certain point in the movie, they just gave up and decided to just show off the amount of money they spent on fake blood. A horror film’s story can be bad, but bad kill scenes make the movie pointless. 

No one part of this movie makes you want to do anything but turn it off. I have no idea why anyone wanted to even be associated with this dumpster fire of a feature. To watch 2022’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre is to watch something that starts out bad, and then doesn’t get any better. 

[My Grade for Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an F-]

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