Sometimes it’s important to let something go, no matter how much you want more of it. Generally, Hollywood struggles with this concept. With that in mind, let’s follow Hollywood’s example and try and milk everything out of our favorite characters, for nothing but money. If you’ve looked at the news recently, there’s clearly nothing else going on, so a new spinoff television series seems appropriate. Considering the fact that practically every spinoff show is canceled within 2-3 seasons, with the exception of the NCIS shows (but that’s not real television so that doesn’t count), there are some serious storytelling opportunities here. Here are some characters that could use an extra 2-3 seasons.
The Country Bears – The Country Bears
In The Country Bears, we learn everything about the backstory of the music group, so obviously, in the eyes of a producer, their story must be expanded upon. This could definitely be a mini series. Maybe you find out they came from the moon, or something like that, although they could also address why everyone in their universe just accepts the fact that bears can talk. Is this a Jurassic Park kinda thing, as in they’re not real bears? But then what is the morality behind exploiting some bears in things like zoos versus the ones that can walk and talk? And let’s say one of the more intelligent bears eats someone or commits a crime, how do you jail a bear? You can’t put them in the same place as regular criminals right, because they’re bears? These are the questions a spinoff could answer.
Biggie Cheese – Barnyard
The world of Barnyard is full of strange situations, but when this guy walked out on stage introduced as, “Mr. Boombastic himself,” questions must be raised. I can’t be the only one interested in a realistic, gritty take on the life of an obese rat musician. Whether a film or show, A Biggie Cheese spinoff would be great as long as it ends with him dying of a cheese overdose. We could learn about what drove him towards music, what his real name is, and how he had a tragic upbringing with a voice cameo from maybe David Hasselhoff, or even better, Vanilla Ice. The show could revolve around Cheese training a new age of rappers. They could all have very creative names except one who has a generic name like Dave or Jake. Yes, yes, I think this is a great idea.
Sid the Sloth – Ice Age
Just kidding… no one wants that.
Woola – John Carter
The plot of John Carter makes the creation of the universe seem simple. Even after watching it, I knew the alien space dog Woola was easily part of the top 5 greatest characters of all time, no question. I love Woola and want more from him. Apparently, he’s the last of his kind, so the plot could be around him discovering his past, and maybe even finding out he’s of a royal bloodline but was cast out as a child because his brother wanted to be king. Perfect. If that wouldn’t work then honestly, a show simply about him wobbling about Mars is enough. Literally, nothing happens but him walking around for 40-minute episodes, which is all I really want.
Okay, do we actually need any of these shows? No, um, no, not really. But we live in an age where films are based on one line of dialogue, so can we at least have some interesting spinoffs, please? Although looking back at this, all the characters here are animals, so maybe I’ll just go watch Animal Planet. Yeah, actually, that sounds like a much better idea.